Pretty Much Sums It Up

(Background context: I wrote this post two nights ago.  Wasn't able to post it until now). 

The boys are in bed and my lovely wife is journaling on the couch as I write this post.  I wonder if she is writing similar things as to what I am thinking.  Probably not.  Suffice to say, I don't have much thought provoking  words to write.  I can only say that this morning I listened to a song by Waterdeep that seemed to capture all that is running, or should I say, swimming through my head.  Below are the lyrics:

Every time that I get down 

I am like a salmon on 

An upstream journey, then

Death to follow once I spawn

I have seen the big fish climb

The ladder at the reservoir

Watch 'em work like devils

Half delirious do they even know where they are?

CHORUS

Jesus I'm a sucker; I

Wish I believed less of the lies

Did anything I thought I knew

Turn out to be true?

Baby boys and little toys are all that I see anymore

Will somebody close the door?

It's cold outside

Every single time I thought that

I had figured it all out

I was run aground again and

Floundering with crazy doubt

Maybe every way I'd learned

To deal with the tragedy

Was just another junkyard find

Rust-eaten and raggedy

CHORUS

Jesus I'm a sucker; I

Wish I believed less of the lies

Did anything I thought I knew

Turn out to be true?

Baby boys and little toys are all that I see anymore

Will somebody close the door?

It's cold outside

I have paced the floor at night

Staring in his tiny face

Swearing that I'll do my best

To make for him a solid place

Barring acts of God or even

Acts of other men, I'll be

The father that I always wished

I had been allowed to see

Yep, this pretty much sums it up.